Torn

How do we stay true to our be kind mantra when people want to make it so difficult. I have spent so much time and energy to become the kind, happy woman I want to be and now I wonder how to apply kindness to a someone I have no respect for. Is it enough to be polite? Do I really have to forgive her? I feel strongly that she doesn’t deserve any kindness from me. But isn’t that exactly what I am trying to accomplish with kindness? Be kind to all…If we forgive, they say it releases us from the hurt, it is an attribute of the strong.

So am I weak because I struggle to find it in me to release this person from their wrongs? I want to on some level but in my heart I hesitate because she is so selfish in the wrong ways and doesn’t see past herself. That is someone I do not know how to be around because they are everything I do not like in our society.

On the other hand, if I find a way to be peaceful around her, to release the tension in my heart surrounding her, maybe I can move on and only then understand how to show kindness to someone who doesn’t seem to understand what selflessness is.

Image

I can forgive and release her. But I choose not to let her be in my life in any way. I wonder, is that cold? There are many quotes about surrounding yourself with the right people and I believe with my soul that being encircled by people who are positive, honest and kind has helped me grow. By letting one in, that is none of these things, seems to go against what I have worked for. So, yes, I can forgive her. But that is as far as our road goes. At least for now. When I see changes I would reconsider our relationship.

But who am I to be the judge? Well, I am talking about my happiness and my world I have built and therefore I believe I have the right to decide who may enter my bubble and who may not.

I would like to note that I do not wish her harm, unhappiness or anything of the sort. As a matter of fact, I wish very much for her to find peace and joy in life.

I welcome any advice

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Torn

  1. Forgive and forget, Surround yourself with people that improve your life. If the time comes that she wishes to rejoin your circle, she will have to make the choice to change the way she lives and treats people. First priority is you and the best energy should be spent on people that are worthy of it. Just stay positive with yourself.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s